Ekkalak, a big brother to all
Children of the Mekong explores the experiences of Ekkalak, a young Thai who was invited to live amongst the city’s poor and destitute by […]
Ekkalak, a big brother to all
In the midst of Bangkok’s concrete jungle, next to the shantytowns of Klong Toei, sits a small building. It is far from the city’s business districts dotted with glass and metal skyscrapers. Behind a gate, a few motorcycles wait patiently, and beyond that, inside a small four-story building, people are moving about, and laughing is heard. This is where the Xaverians live. They are a community of missionary priests who are there to tend to those who live in the poorest neighbourhoods of Bangkok. They listen with the utmost compassion to the destitute who live in the shantytowns of the Thai capital. Father Edgar and Father Erasto are both Mexican, and Father Augustin is Congolese, but they are not alone, as there are also a few French volunteers, of whom I am one, and 7 Thai volunteers, all young people willing to spend their time and energy helping others.
Among the Thai volunteers, there is Gang, 16, who is like a little brother to all. Peter is 17, and a bundle of energy. Ping, 19, is full of loving kindness, and his brother Pao, 24, is always looking out for others. Then there is Plug, 20, the big idealist of the group, and Tony, also 20, the nicest young man that you could ever meet.
One young man in the group stands out. He is on the short side, yet strong, and known for his street football skills. His name is Ekkalak Ngualyue and he knows how to kick the ball into the net however many players he is competing with. He has black slightly messy hair, and everyone knows him in the neighbourhood, where his name is chanted at every football match. He is 30 and has a very modest family background. His mother and 4 sisters live in the city of Chiang Rai in the north west of Thailand. His mother grows coffee and various kinds of fruit to sell in the streets. Ekkalak knows little of his father, simply that he lives in the countryside near Chiang Rai with another woman.
Ekkalak walks with confidence through the slums, along dirty alleyways, past makeshift shelters made from wood planks and advertising placards, underneath motorway bridges or next to disused railway tracks. He knows where he is going. He gently calls out to the residents. A neighbour appears out of nowhere, telling him that the family he is looking for is not at home. Ekkalak smiles, and replies ‘I’ll come back’. Further on, he greets an elderly man in front of his shelter. He has worked hard all his life but is nevertheless unable to house his family with him. Behind him, his daughter holds a newborn in her arms. The baby lives here, amongst the garbage, without a proper roof over the little one’s head. The old man complains to Ekkalak, who smiles and promises to return to find out how the baby is doing, and to see if he can bring a meal back for the new mother.
Ekkalak is very familiar with the dire poverty in Klong Toei. He has been working here for 7 years, ever since he met the Xaverians who invited him to join them in their daily commitment to be present for the poor and the vulnerable, especially the children and the sick in the shantytowns. Ekkalak never had much, yet amongst the city’s poor, largely ignored by the wider community, he found that he could give of himself, and give his time, to visit the sick and the elderly, and that he possessed an inestimable gift: his ability to listen, and focus his attention on whoever needed it. He discovered his own heart’s treasures, and also that in this place, he could willingly commit to his mission with a real love for life in a community. He describes it as “a world family”, enriched by people of all different nationalities living under the same roof, with the same commitment: To be there for the poorest of the poor, offering them their friendship, and showing them that every single one of their lives is precious.
Still, it has not always been easy. At first, Ekkalak found the visits very difficult. “I did not know anyone in Bangkok and the people in the neighbourhood were not very friendly’’, he admits, as he remembers his first experiences there. He would visit the elderly, only to be scolded by some of the residents, who would ask what he was doing there, and tell him that they did not want to be visited. They would tell him to go away. So he would leave, respecting their wishes. Yet he did not give up, and returned the next day and the day after that, every day. He continued with his mission nevertheless. And gradually, by offering them help, asking if they needed food, taking an interest in their lives, asking questions, sitting with them and listening, little by little he managed to calm their fear of strangers, and of the unknown, and to earn himself a place in the heart of the community. “That is how everything changed”, he says simply. In time, he got to know many families, and all of their stories. He was welcomed with open arms and a smile. Ekkalak fell in love with the lives of others. His passion is to listen, to the point where he is a like a book in which each community member writes his or her own story, and feels better for it. Every evening, he shares all he has heard and received from those he visits with his friends at the Xaverian’s house, hoping that kindness will be shown to each individual, and that prayers will be said for each of them.
Since then, Ekkalak has become a pillar of Klong Toei’s community, to the point where some residents become very anxious if they do not receive a visit for a few days. Grandmother Sahad is one of these residents. A while ago, the elderly lady refused all visits. “Every time someone tried to visit her, she said that she wanted to take her own life”, says Ekkalak in a serious…. voice. One day, when Ekkalak and a priest were visiting her, Sahad tried to commit suicide using medicine she had. They both intervene immediately, and try to dissuade her, but she will not listen. “It is one of my most horrific memories, says Ekkalak as he remembers the scene, trying to hold Sahad back several times from going through with committing suicide. Since then, the elderly lady and the young man have become the best of friends. Ekkalak was able to give Sahad the will to live again, by having her accompany him on his visits and inviting her to be present for others living in the shantytowns. “Sahad’s story is truly a testament to hope” says Ekkalak with enthusiasm. Stories like these play out every single day in Klong Toei!”
Ekkalak is like a big brother to the volunteers. He has been there the longest, and accompanies each volunteer into the shantytown at the start of his mission. He also works on the daily schedule and decides who is part of each group. With a constant smile on his face, and his unique gift for touching everyone’s hearts, he knows how to bring them the tenderness, comfort, and gentleness that is needed. Like when he tenderly touches the head of a little girl with macrocephaly who he knows well from many previous visits. He tickles her chin and she smiles, and translates some simple phrases that some elderly ladies taught him. “Ekkalak ฉันอยากตายเพราะลูกๆ ทอดทิ้งฉัน และฉันอยู่คนเดียว,’which he translates as « She says she wants to die because her children have abandoned her and she is all alone’. He hears this devastating expression of distress often, yet Ekkalak can never get used it. However he now knows how to respond. He can not change one’s destiny. He is there to listen, to wish her courage, by holding the hand of the woman in tears. He is there for her, in all simplicity and with all humility.
After 7 years of visiting the poor, 7 years of listening to each of their stories, sharing, interacting, and volunteering to do good, Ekkalak is moving on. He is leaving the neighbourhood and the house that he has loved so much, not to abandon his mission but to continue it in a different way. He will go back home, taking all that he has learnt and been given him with him, returning to his birthplace of Chiang Rai, to his mother and his sisters. He will bring his joyful, open hearted, and compassionate presence to the poor living there in his hometown. “I received so much love here: Sabai di Talawela, Susu talawela, talawale Keng, Sawadi tchan Lak Teh » he concludes, as he makes a promise in his native language : «‘I will always be well, I will always have courage, I will always be strong. Hello, I love you ».
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